When Success Stops Making Sense (and What Comes Next)

A millennial midlife reflection – minus the crisis, plus a bit more clarity

There’s a moment I keep coming back to.

Jude in his highchair. Me at the sink. A normal Tuesday.

I was rinsing plates and watching him babble away, thinking about the version of success I used to chase. The one built on external markers and linear paths – more clients, more press, more proof I was doing it right.

And then this quiet question dropped in, like a pebble in a puddle:
Is this it?

Not in a bitter or regretful way. Just... a pause.
A moment of noticing how far I’ve come, how much has changed – and how strangely unanchored I still felt.

It turns out, a lot of us are having these moments.

▸ Not a meltdown. Not a crisis.
▸ More like a slow, strange turning.
▸ A recalibration.

Let’s be honest: the classic midlife crisis never quite fit us.

We’re not buying sports cars or booking silent retreats in Bali (although the latter does sound tempting and guilty as charged, I have indeed been to Bali on a retreat but it was far from silent). We’re quietly unravelling the old definitions of success – and asking what we want instead.

Millennials were promised that if we worked hard, got the degrees, climbed the ladders, it would all pay off. But we graduated into recessions, rising costs, and careers that often demanded more than they gave.

I was made redundant twice during the 2008 crash. I spent 10 months on Job Seeker’s Allowance, applying for every retail job going. And when I did find work, it wasn’t the safety net I’d been led to expect. It was survival mode.

No wonder so many of us feel like we’ve been sprinting without ever really arriving.